The Woman, Blossoming...

There is someone...

A man whom I admire. A man who makes me proud. A man who makes me giggle like a school girl...

He's wonderful. He really is. 

In the short time that we've been spending time together, he has (unknowingly) helped me to realize something about myself: I've grown up.

I remember the start of every dating relationship I've ever had. I remember how I felt and what I liked about each guy. I remember the excitement, often paired with anxiety, because I wanted to impress them. I wanted them to like me, to be proud of me. I remember being so worried about what they thought me, but looking back, I was never really me at all.

This time, it's different. I'm not worried about what he thinks of me. I honestly don't really care about impressing him. While I want him to like me, I not going to go out of my way to try to be someone who I think he'll like. I'm just going to be myself, and hopefully that's enough.

The funny thing is...this wasn't something I thought about and made a conscious decision to change. It's something I noticed myself doing, without thinking about it or analyzing it or praying about it. I believe it's me growing up. It's LesLeigh, the woman dating a man, not LesLeigh, the girl wanting a boy's attention and affection. 

I often find myself being very honest with him. Not necessarily about deep things, but surface level things that I used to hide from previous suitors. I don't over-analyze everything that I'm thinking before I say it. 

With him and I, it's not a competition as to who can hide even the very least of their intentions and emotions. It's two adults, talking and laughing, with friends or alone, enjoying each other's company. 

I was afraid to write this down, to publish this, because everything is so new and I feel the need to protect it. However, if you know me at all by now, you'll know I am a fan of transparency and of sharing anything that anyone might be able to relate to or learn from. So here we are...

I don't know if he's my husband or how long we'll last. I'm not sure of the future, or if his future has anything to do with my future. I don't know what the great Lord has in store for us. 

All I know is that I find him kind of fascinating, and I like the way he makes me feel when I'm with him. But already, I am grateful for the woman that he has awakened within me. The mature, graceful woman of God. And oh, how wild and lovely still is she...

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