February has gotten me thinking about all things love (like everyone else and their cat), and I thought I’d share some thoughts I have on the matter.
It’s been a long time since I’ve “fallen” in love. I have been single and ready to mingle for almost a year and a half, and I wasn’t in love with the last person I dated. I was thinking about it a few days ago and I was starting to believe that I don’t remember what it feels like to fall in love, but I actually do…
It’s that weird, unexpected, miserable feeling of being out of control and enjoying every minute of it. You can’t sleep, you can’t breathe. You spend way too much time staring at your phone and willing it to vibrate with a message from them. You eat way less or way more than you should. You find yourself listening to sappy songs with a slap-happy grin on your face, and you sigh randomly.
It kind of sounds like something from the movies, but this shiz is real life, folks. I’ve seen it happen. I’ve watched my friends look absolutely ridiculous and make utter fools of themselves over someone that isn’t that great they like. I’ve done it myself. I’ve sat, staring out a window, daydreaming, and wondering why the hell I’ve got a smile on face.
I’m a very logical person and as I’m writing this, it sounds absolutely revolting, that feeling of falling in love. And so I ask myself why I want to, why anyone would want to.
The truth (according to me) is that we were made for community. We were made to be with people. And sometimes, we just so happen to be in community and meet someone who makes sense to us. They just make sense. I mean you look at someone, get to know them, spend time with them and suddenly it dawns on you “Oh, this is what it’s supposed to be like!” And you’d never be able to explain what ‘it’ is but in your mind, in your heart, you know what you mean.
Sometimes it’s more than compatibility or chemistry, though those things are important. Sometimes you just recognize somebody else’s soul…
I hope I fall in love again. I hope that the next person I fall in love with is my husband, because it would sure save a lot of time and heartbreak. I’m all about time efficiency, even when it comes to love.
What do you guys think? What’s your love story?